Catemaco News

Growing up 60 years ago I was fascinated by the market stalls selling eggs sitting atop contraptions lit from underneath to see the condition of the eggs.

The memory crossed my mind after cracking my umpteenth rotten egg in beautiful downtown Catemaco, which is part of chicken country with 10 times as many chickens as people.

The last time I saw eggs for sale, which were maintained in a cooler, was years ago. Local eggs are kept for sale a room temperature which regularly reaches above 90 degrees in unventilated stores. And as for quality I regularly get eggs in sizes ranging from pigeons to small ostriches. And I have also learned to love fertilized eggs.

Egg flavors also come in surprises because of the food choices by free ranging chickens, and on occasion an egg will smell like a good fart, or almost as bad as the smell of Baluts (dead embryonic duck eggs) favored by many in South East Asia. But I have learned to appreciate my Popoluca teaching me to never crack eggs directly into a pan.

My dependable local quality egg provider was unfortunately put out of business by a snake feasting on his hens, and since then my soft boiled and eggs over easy consumption has dropped drastically, especially after considering that Mexico is a haven for salmonella induced diarreah, and wondering how much of it stems from eggs.

Photo: BioSciencia

Tortas are served both hot and cold and ingredients range from beef tongues to stuffed chiles, fried fish, chunks of pork and the staple of sliced ham. Usually sold in mom'n pop stands, the owners name their tortas after whatevever suits them, so don't expect a  "Tejano" torta to taste the same in Xalapa and Acayucan.

Today only, beautiful downtown Catemaco along with the rest of Mexico serves a unique version of a so called torta. It is an imaginary bread roll stuffed with a 500 peso bill and swallowed by zillions of impoverished peasants and workers ready to sell their vote to the torta giver. Of course the process is illegal, but election officials nationwide are deaf, dumb and blind to the entrenched custom.

The rest of July is a great month to be in Los Tuxtlas. Giant parties, street festivals, dances, lots of beer and loud music roil  the three major cities.

July 9-12
Verafest 2009
San Andres Tuxtla

July 12-9
Celebration of the Virgin del Carmen and county fair
Catemaco

July 18 & 19
Climbing around Volcano San Martin Tuxtla
reserved for 200 by DEMATAC

July 18-26
Celebration of Saint James
Patron Saint of Santiago Tuxtla

Photo of Torta - El Asador

Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.
Bob Dylan should have sung that in Spanish 75 years ago

Historic Time magazine articles mentioning Veracruz

Today beautiful  downtown Catemaco received new phone books. Actually it is the phone book for 83 cities in Veracruz, including Veracruz City.

It is a shame that no entrepreneur in Los Tuxtlas has the desire to produce a Los Tuxtlas directory with both white and yellow pages. Considering the junky advertising sheets and magazines that are constantly published here, this could be a profitable business for someone.

The phone book delivery man said they would distribute about 1600 books in Catemaco. My page count of numbers shows about 1700 (I counted one row and mulitplied it by 16).

I did  the same count last year, and it looks like there is a little growth in Catemaco. (La Victoria and Sontecomapan were split off the Catemaco phone book this year, about 100 combined)

Of  those 1800 I would guess no more than 15% (270) have internet access at home, plus a 100 or more machines in internet cafes primarily devoted to hotmail and pornography.

Catemaco Noticias (not Catemaco News) averages a measly 600 returning readers per month,  plus another 20,000 fly bys and I would guess most everyone in Catemaco reads the Noticias at least twice before upchucking.

The local monopoly of TELMEX which delivered the book against a 10 peso propina, considers its white pages a military secret. Idiotically, only Telmex subscribers have access to the pages.

The yellow pages, also of course, have no listing for Catemaco, until you figure out that the section listings are ordered by by cities.

And also "off" course the current and previous mayor have no listing, and the roll of last names sounds like any small town in southern Spain, with a focus on Dominguez, Hernandez and Perez, the equivalents of Smith and Brown.

TELMEX (owned by the second richest man in the world, depending on the dollar exchange) has some of the highest rates in the world, but I have no complaints about either its quality or service.

Catemaco info made a very small effort to list some of the basic phone numbers in the soon to be finished (2015):
Los Tuxtlas Directory

Next time you drop in to beautiful downtown Catemaco, bring your snorkel! It will come in handy during the rainy season which is just about to start and you can also use it on the surprising number of dive sites along the Los Tuxtlas coast.

The state of Veracruz recently published a dive guide for Veracruz in English and Spanish,  which is curiously titled Submarine Tourism.

It was designed for myopic internet users. To read it download the whole guide to your computer.

A recent arrival to beautiful downtown Catemaco found a haven in a small local gringo enclave. She is trying to make it on 900 dollars a month and blogging about it. Makes for interesting reading.

Dona Tere Bienes Raices - Living Here (bottom of page)

In beautiful downtown Catemaco the news is primarily spread by word of mouth, followed by dilapidated vehicles announcing whatever a publisher thinks will get people to pay 5 pesos for a copy of their drivel.

The most reliable news seems to be an FM radio station that knows which of its sides is politically buttered.

Today's 120 decibel news announcement was of a homosexual killed on the passing federal highway, allegedly after enjoying himself on the Malecon.

Mexico, aside from having  the propensity of killing reporters, also has has some of the most perverse laws on the books for defamation and libel and regularly jails reporters for investigatory comments.

The most recent local perversion is jailing a legless reporter, Victor Luna,  for alleging improprieties in the lottery system of the nearby city of San Andrés Tuxtla. The most recent national notoriety is an ongoing battle of a reporter alleging a governor to be a child pornographer and drug dealer.

The really annoying aspect is that newspapers are afraid of mentioning anything or anyone with political pull, when describing an accident or crime scene. Usually those occured in a "lugar conocido"  by an "empresario conocido" ( known place and known businessman).

That does not stop them from publishing gruesome photos of crime victims, including their names and data, but, curiously, when I published one, Google yanked it off my blog.

Lesbian ran over while reading Catemao News
Tomorrow I am awaiting full photo coverage and personal details of a bisexual, transsexual, or oh shucks, a lesbian, who got run over by a heterosexual while reading Catemaco News on a, whatever sex,  lap top.

I thought the long bliss with my Popoluca, ongoing 7 years, had opened her mind to my political commentary.

But, no, she refuses to participate in a mickey mouse poll that I placed on my Spanish web site. She worries that she may be discovered in who she voted for and would thus affect some of her daughters who are employed by the government.

If she could be traced through this mickey mouse Google Poll widget, (now deleted because you know what) she would probably be correct. Of course she cannot be traced but fear is what drives Mexican politics.

Fear to lose your government job, fear to lose your government allotments, fear, fear, fear.

For people on a subsistence level of survival that fear is predominant in their political decisions.  The difference between a few hundred pesos of allotment and none can create drastic life style changes. And usually the candidate who delivers a plastic bag called "despensa" filled with a week's survival food for a family of four, just before the election  will be guaranteed a vote.

My Popoluca gives out her own despensas and fears noone on a local level, but she also knows that anything on a state level is subject to influence peddling and corruption.  And she does have 2 daughters on that level.

And what really pisses me off is her attidude of  "asi es", and her acceptance of  the going concern concept of corruption and intimidation..

Mexico will not change in the foreseeable future, and will remain one of the best places in the world with the best polical and judicial system to buy cheap, in relation to what it would cost to corrupt the same institutions in the US.

Most of Catemaco's northeast is inaccessible except by cattle trails and a haphazard one car ferry. All of the area is part of the vaunted Biosphere Reserve of Los Tuxtlas. In actuality this is gorgeous cattle country with infrastructure for settlers from the 19th century, and environmental disregard of the 21st.

I unfortunately use Yahoo Sitebuilder to publish catemaco.info and tuxtlas.com. I say unfortunately because Sitebuilder is not transferrable to much better web page designer programs, and I have too much time invested in more than 1000 pages.

Yahoo Sitebuilder Help sucks. In 5 years of going through the growing pains with them I have never received a concise answer to a problem.

I am writing these notes because I know Google will index them and hopefully help another frustrated user.

Sitebuilder uses Java to generate its page design program. But Java upgrades do not necessarily support Sitebuilder.  Over the last few months I have been going nuts over losing snippets of text, headlines and links in many of my reedited pages.

The solution?
Delete any Java file on your computer and then reinstall Sitebuilder, including its OLD version of Java, and do NOT allow Java to upgrade itself!

Memory allocation is not controllable in Sitebuilder and almost impossible to adust.
Here is a way.
Change the original ysitebuilder.bat file in the Yahoo SiteBuilder folder:
"C:\Program Files\Java\jre6\bin\javaw.exe" -cp "C:\Yahoo SiteBuilder\install.jar" RunSiteBuilder ""
to
"C:\Program Files\Java\jre1.6.0_07\bin\javaw.exe" -cp "C:\Users\dz\Desktop\Yahoo SiteBuilder\install.jar" RunSiteBuilder " -Xmx768m"
where the Xmx768m number reflects the memory you want to allocate to speed up the slowpoke. Do that exactly as written, including the empty spaces.

There is a help group on Yahoo which is worse than Yahoo help answers.
If you have a major problem and need some help, email me and maybe I'll have a solution with 5 years of trial and error experiences. catemaco@gmail.com


Yahoo Sitebuilder problem problems problemas error errores uploading

Mexico's only English language is doing it again! Rattling on bankrupcy doors!. First incepted in the 1950´s,  The News folded in 2002, and resurfaced in 2008.

That venerable paper simply cannot attract enough English readers to be economically efficient, and was sold to Grupo MAC , a mickey mouse 5 newspaper Mexican chain. Apparently the paper, which really had some impressive editorial content, is shrinking from 41 to 14 employees, knocking off its weekend editions, shrinking to 24 pages, and intends to do translations of English news items. What a waste!

Apparently a statue of a little boy is supposed to reawaken the touristic interest in Veracruz which has gone to the pigs.

Semi.nude boys statues are found peeing all over the world. and now Veracruz will have two that I know of. Confoundingly, though I haver never seen one of a little girl.

Beautiful downtown Catemaco has its own statue of a little boy. Of course, he is peeing. It's a replica of the famous Belgian Manneke Pis  which is a small bronze sculpture depicting a naked little boy urinating into a fountain in Brussels, the Belgian capital. The kid apparently peed upon some attacking soldiers and is credited with winning a battle.

I have no idea why a restaurant serving fried fish on the Malecon in Catemaco would have him decorating an alcove on its outside walls. That is just another one of the wonderful mysteries of Catemaco.

By the way, how would you like to be a little swineflu boy, depicted in green and placed on top of a mountain?  Is this Veracruz governor nuts, or what?

Photo of kid: Burro Hall

As anyone living in Mexico knows, Mexico is an extraordinarly unsafe country.

For gringos that is fortunately not true. Mexican people, and I guess Mexican criminals have this misbegotten idea that any problem involving gringos invokes the Mexican federal government or the US Embassy.

Generally speaking, if you are gringo, you will receive preferrential treatment in the provinces of Mexico. In the border areas you will be considered fresh meat. And if you are dumb enough to travel without car insurance anywhere in Mexico, you will be god's gift to extortionists.

Most Mexicans quiver in their pants over either being kidnapped or being obligated to empty their ATM account.
And many seek safer places.

Recently my Popoluca, who is a realtor, is negotiating several sales of houses of owners who want to leave the insecurity of Catemaco. Meanwhile she is also negotiating for houses for people from other areas of Mexico like Guadalajara and Puebla, who want to retire  to Catemaco because they think it is a safe haven.

The answer to those differences may lie in the middle.

Generally any gringo traveling in Mexico is protected by the "nochingagringos" effect, which is primarily practiced by the federal highway police, and to a limited extent by state police.

All that is obviated by the "gringopagadoble" effect in place in most interactions with local shopkeepers .

If you want to eat great Catemaco food, I suggest you head to New York City.

Zarela Martínez was born in Mexico and has created a niche market of English cookbooks about Veracruz cooking, and she simply gushes about Catemaco.
She also owns a restaurant in New York and plans to offer Catemaco delicacies, including tegogolos, but she will need a little help finding those.

The food of Catemaco: The place where ancient mexicas thought paradise was

While the secretary of tourism and the mayor of Catemaco are looking for another way to fill their pockets with selling beer to Catemaqueños who mostly live on less than 2 minimum wages, there is a fabulous opportunity:


The largest snail cocktail in the world!
attempt at the Guiness world record book.

Catemaco is famous for "tegogolos", a shelled fresh water snail endemic to Laguna Catemaco. These snails have a reputation in Mexico as an aphrodisiac and are much more tasty and cheaper than Viagra.

Thus, this event would attract thousands who seek erections to magical Catemaco.

The abandoned structure near the Laguna Catemaco "harbor master's" quarters could be converted into a giant garbage can liner outfitted cocktail glass.

While Mexico is going ballistic over the swine flu, I instead am searching for one of those white monkey suits with sting proof visors. According to personal experience and reports from a major Veracruz daily, Catemaco is under attack by killer bees. Fortunately the local civil defense outfit is on the ball, and wiping out almost 10 hives a day.

But noone cares about that in my household, instead they are running around with face masks and getting hysterical over rumors of hundreds sick and dying in Catemaco. All a bunch of hogwash!

Today the US CDC reported a total of 64 "confirmed" cases, while the Mexican government officially reported 49 "confirmed" cases. But who believes Mexican statitics anyway.